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Lessons on Friendship

August 21, 2021 - 9:34
Lessons on Friendship

Duryodhana and Karna as friends

Duryodhana’s jealousy and enmity with Pandavas are well-known right from their childhood. The competition between them has always taken the form of jealousy, frustration, and anger.┬аThe first encounter of Duryodhana with Karna happened when the Princes of Kuru (Pandavas┬аand Kauravas) were displaying their skills at the end of the learning with Guru Dronacharya.┬аWhen Arjuna was about to be declared as the best Archer, Karna challenged Arjuna. Karna
was called Sutaputra (Son of a Charioteer), as one of the charioteers found him and adopted┬аhim as son, since he is not considered as part of Kshatriya and part of Kuru Family, he was┬аnot permitted in the arena for show of strength. Duryodhana saw that as an opportunity to┬аcreate a challenge for Pandavas and make them lose. He declared Karna as King of Anga┬а(current days Bihar / Bengal). Karna perceived this as a great gesture and accepted it.┬аThe relationship as viewed from Karna’s side

  • A large sense of indebtedness
  • Looking for every opportunity to repay the debt
  • Karna was true in his relationship and kept the values of the relationship even when
    he knew it was not right.

The relationship from Duryodhana’s side was

  • Considering Karna as one of the key resources to counter Pandavas
  • Duryodhana’s motives were selfish as he only wanted a warrior equal to Arjuna.
  • His selfish intention was to defeat Arjuna

Comparative studies of other friendships

Krishna and Sudama

The story of Sudama and the friendship between him andKrishna can be found in the Srimad┬аBhagavatam. Krishna and Sudama spent a brief period together during the Gurukulvasa of┬аKrishna. The friendship here was pure, with no expectations from each other. The friendship┬аremained even when they were separated after their studies in the ashram. There was a huge┬аgap in terms of social-economic status between them. The story of how Krishna treated
Sudama when Sudama visited his palace is well known.┬аFriendship can exist at a transactional and materialistic level. For example, our friends in┬аschools and colleges are transactional and often linked to the support system that we create to
support learning with each other or partying with each other. Friendship can exist at an┬аemotional level where the friends are connected through their souls. The communication┬аbetween such friends is emotional; they do not need words to express it.┬аThe relationship and feelings were mutual.┬аIn comparison to this, "friendship" between Duryodhana and Karna was with purpose and┬аagenda.

Krishna and Arjuna

Krishna and Arjuna are prime examples of Sakha Bhava. The friendship between them goes┬аthrough several forms, but the bonding is a reflection of "friend in need" in every form."┬аWhen necessary, Krishna did not hesitate in guiding Arjuna as Guru while rendering┬аBhagavad Geetha. Krishna never hesitated in stating bitter truth when essential while┬аsupporting all the time when Arjuna needed.┬аThe friendship between them was not with any anticipated support. Even before the war,┬аwhen Duryodhana and Arjun went to Krishna. Arjuna asked for him in place of his army.┬аThat reflects the trust and relationship that Arjuna had with Krishna.┬аIn comparison to this, Karna sided with Duryodhana even when Karna knew that it was┬аwrong.

Bhishma on Friendships

In рдЖрдкрджреНрдзрд░реНрдордкрд░реНрд╡ (Apad Dharma Parva), Bhisma responds to a question from Yudhistara on friendship/┬аAlliances.┬аBhishma said the people of the following type are not worthy to be friends.

рд▓реБрдмреНрдзрдГ рдХреНрд░реВрд░рд╕реНрддреНрдпрдХреНрддрдзрд░реНрдорд╛ рдирд┐рдХреГрддрд┐рдГ рд╢рда рдПрд╡ рдЪ┬атБардХреНрд╖реБрджреНрд░рдГ рдкрд╛рдкрд╕рдорд╛рдЪрд╛рд░рдГ рд╕рд░реНрд╡рд╢рдЩреНрдХреА рддрдерд╛рд▓рд╕рдГ
рджреАрд░реНрдШрд╕реВрддреНрд░реЛрд╜рдиреГрдЬреБрдГ рдХреНрд░реБрд╖реНрдЯреЛ рдЧреБрд░реБрджрд╛рд░рдкреНрд░рдзрд░реНрд╖рдХрдГ рд╡реНрдпрд╕рдиреЗ рдпрдГ рдкрд░рд┐рддреНрдпрд╛рдЧреА рджреБрд░рд╛рддреНрдорд╛ рдирд┐рд░рдкрддреНрд░рдкрдГ тБа
рд╕рд░реНрд╡рддрдГ рдкрд╛рдкрджрд░реНрд╢реА рдЪ рдирд╛рд╕реНрддрд┐рдХреЛ рд╡реЗрджрдирд┐рдиреНрджрдХрдГ┬атБард╕рдореНрдкреНрд░рдХреАрд░реНрдгреЗрдиреНрджреНрд░рд┐рдпреЛ рд▓реЛрдХреЗ рдпрдГ рдХрд╛рдордВ рдирд┐рд░рддрд╢реНрдЪрд░реЗрддреН тБа
рдЕрд╕рддреНрдпреЛ рд▓реЛрдХрд╡рд┐рджреНрд╡рд┐рд╖реНрдЯрдГ рд╕рдордпреЗ рдЪрд╛рдирд╡рд╕реНрдерд┐рддрдГ┬атБардкрд┐рд╢реБрдиреЛрд╜рдерд╛рдХреГрддрдкреНрд░рдЬреНрдЮреЛ рдорддреНрд╕рд░реА рдкрд╛рдкрдирд┐рд╢реНрдЪрдпрдГ
рджреБрдГрд╢реАрд▓реЛрд╜рдерд╛рдХреГрддрд╛рддреНрдорд╛ рдЪ рдиреГрд╢рдВрд╕рдГ рдХрд┐рддрд╡рд╕реНрддрдерд╛┬атБардорд┐рддреНрд░реИрд░рдкрдХреГрддрд┐рд░реНрдирд┐рддреНрдпрдорд┐рдЪреНрдЫрддреЗрд╜рд░реНрдердВ рдкрд░рд╕реНрдп рдпрдГ
рджрджрддрд╢реНрдЪ рдпрдерд╛рд╢рдХреНрддрд┐ рдпреЛ рди рддреБрд╖реНрдпрддрд┐ рдордиреНрджрдзреАрдГ┬ардЕрдзреИрд░реНрдпрдордкрд┐ рдпреЛ рдпреБрдЩреНрдХреНрддреЗ рд╕рджрд╛ рдорд┐рддреНрд░рдВ рдирд░рд░реНрд╖рдн тБа
рдЕрд╕реНрдерд╛рдирдХреНрд░реЛрдзрдиреЛрд╜рдпреБрдХреНрддреЛ рдпрд╢реНрдЪрд╛рдХрд╕реНрдорд╛рджреН рд╡рд┐рд░реБрдзреНрдпрддреЗ рд╕реБрд╣реГрджрд╢реНрдЪреИрд╡ рдХрд▓реНрдпрд╛рдгрд╛рдирд╛рд╢реБ рддреНрдпрдЬрддрд┐ рдХрд┐рд▓реНрдмрд┐рд╖реА
рдЕрд▓реНрдкреЗрд╜рдкреНрдпрдкрдХреГрддреЗ рдореВрдврд╕реНрддрдерд╛рдЬреНрдЮрд╛рдирд╛рддреН рдХреГрддреЗрд╜рдкрд┐ рдЪ┬атБардХрд╛рд░реНрдпрд╕реЗрд╡реА рдЪ рдорд┐рддреНрд░реЗрд╖реБ рдорд┐рддреНрд░рджреНрд╡реЗрд╖реА рдирд░рд╛рдзрд┐рдк тБа
рд╢рддреНрд░реБрд░реНрдорд┐рддреНрд░рдореБрдЦреЛ рдпрд╢реНрдЪ рдЬрд┐рд╣реНрдордкреНрд░реЗрдХреНрд╖реА рд╡рд┐рд▓реЛрдЪрдирдГ┬арди рд╡рд┐рд░рдЬреНрдпрддрд┐ рдХрд▓реНрдпрд╛рдгреЗ рдпрд╕реНрддреНрдпрдЬреЗрддреН рддрд╛рджреГрд╢рдВ рдирд░рдореН тБа
рдкрд╛рдирдкреЛ рджреНрд╡реЗрд╖рдгрдГ рдХреНрд░реЛрдзреА рдирд┐рд░реНрдШреГрдгрдГ рдкрд░реБрд╖рд╕реНрддрдерд╛┬атБардкрд░реЛрдкрддрд╛рдкреА рдорд┐рддреНрд░рдзреНрд░реБрдХреН рддрдерд╛ рдкреНрд░рд╛рдгрд┐рд╡рдзреЗ рд░рддрдГ тБа
рдХреГрддрдШреНрдирд╢реНрдЪрд╛рдзрдореЛ рд▓реЛрдХреЗ рди рд╕рдВрдзреЗрдпрдГ рдХрджрд╛рдЪрди┬атБардЫрд┐рджреНрд░рд╛рдиреНрд╡реЗрд╖реА рд╣реНрдпрд╕рдВрдзреЗрдпрдГ рд╕рдВрдзреЗрдпрд╛рдирдкрд┐ рдореЗ рд╢реГрдгреБ

The list as sighted by Bhishma is long. Some of them are anyone Greedy, Cruel,┬аDenounces Dharma, Crooked, Fraudulent, Inferior, Suspicious of everyone, lazy,┬аSinful, Procrastinator, Liar, Shameless, Nonbeliever, Escapist, Jealousy of others,┬аCunning, Speaks ill. Many of the characteristics would apply to Duryodhana. Hence,┬аhe is not a worthy friend. But Karna accepted him as it is with full knowledge┬аbecause of his indebtedness to him.┬аBhishma also mentioned who all should be considered as friends.

рдХреБрд▓реАрдирд╛ рд╡рд╛рдХреНрдпрд╕рдореНрдкрдиреНрдирд╛ рдЬреНрдЮрд╛рдирд╡рд┐рдЬреНрдЮрд╛рдирдХреЛрд╡рд┐рджрд╛рдГ тБард░реВрдкрд╡рдиреНрддреЛ рдЧреБрдгреЛрдкреЗрддрд╛рд╕реНрддрдерд╛рд╜рд▓реБрдмреНрдзрд╛ рдЬрд┐рддрд╢реНрд░рдорд╛рдГ тБа
рд╕рдиреНрдорд┐рддреНрд░рд╛рд╢реНрдЪ рдХреГрддрдЬреНрдЮрд╛рд╢реНрдЪ рд╕рд░реНрд╡рдЬреНрдЮрд╛ рд▓реЛрднрд╡рд░реНрдЬрд┐рддрд╛рдГ┬атБардорд╛рдзреБрд░реНрдпрдЧреБрдгрд╕рдореНрдкрдиреНрдирд╛рдГ рд╕рддреНрдпрд╕рдВрдзрд╛ рдЬрд┐рддреЗрдиреНрджреНрд░рд┐рдпрд╛рдГ
рд╡реНрдпрд╛рдпрд╛рдорд╢реАрд▓рд╛ рд╕рддрддрдВ рдХреБрд▓рдкреБрддреНрд░рд╛рдГ рдХреБрд▓реЛрджреНрд╡рд╣рд╛рдГ┬арджреЛрд╖реИрдГ рдкреНрд░рдореБрдХреНрддрд╛рдГ рдкреНрд░рдерд┐рддрд╛рд╕реНрддреЗ рдЧреНрд░рд╛рд╣реНрдпрд╛рдГ рдкрд╛рд░реНрдерд┐рд╡реИрд░реНрдирд░рд╛рдГ тБа

рдпрдерд╛рд╢рдХреНрддрд┐ рд╕рдорд╛рдЪрд╛рд░рд╛рдГ рд╕рдореНрдкреНрд░рддреБрд╖реНрдпрдиреНрддрд┐ рд╣рд┐ рдкреНрд░рднреЛ┬атБа

рдирд╛рд╕реНрдерд╛рдиреЗ рдХреНрд░реЛрдзрд╡рдиреНрддрд╢реНрдЪ рди рдЪрд╛рдХрд╕реНрдорд╛рджреН рд╡рд┐рд░рд╛рдЧрд┐рдгрдГ┬атБард╡рд┐рд░рдХреНрддрд╛рд╢реНрдЪ рди рджреБрд╖реНрдпрдиреНрддрд┐ рдордирд╕рд╛рдкреНрдпрд░реНрдердХреЛрд╡рд┐рджрд╛рдГ тБа
рдЖрддреНрдорд╛рдирдВ рдкреАрдбрдпрд┐рддреНрд╡рд╛рдкрд┐ рд╕реБрд╣реГрддреНрдХрд╛рд░реНрдпрдкрд░рд╛рдпрдгрд╛рдГ тБард╡рд┐рд░рдЬреНрдпрдиреНрддрд┐ рди рдорд┐рддреНрд░реЗрднреНрдпреЛ рд╡рд╛рд╕реЛ рд░рдХреНрддрдорд┐рд╡рд╛рд╡рд┐рдХрдореН тБа

рдХреНрд░реЛрдзрд╛рдЪреНрдЪ рд▓реЛрднрдореЛрд╣рд╛рднреНрдпрд╛рдВ рдирд╛рдирд░реНрдереЗ рдпреБрд╡рддреАрд╖реБ рдЪ┬атБарди рджрд░реНрд╢рдпрдиреНрддрд┐ рд╕реБрд╣реГрджреЛ рд╡рд┐рд╢реНрд╡рд╕реНрддрд╛ рдзрд░реНрдорд╡рддреНрд╕рд▓рд╛рдГ тБа
рд▓реЛрд╖реНрдЯрдХрд╛рдЮреНрдЪрдирддреБрд▓реНрдпрд╛рд░реНрдерд╛рдГ рд╕реБрд╣реГрддреНрд╕реБ рджреГрдврдмреБрджреНрдзрдпрдГ тБардпреЗ рдЪрд░рдиреНрддреНрдпрднрд┐рдорд╛рдирд╛рдирд┐ рд╕реГрд╖реНрдЯрд╛рд░реНрдердордиреБрд╖рдЩреНрдЧрд┐рдгрдГ
рд╕рдВрдЧреГрд╣реНрдгрдиреНрддрдГ рдкрд░рд┐рдЬрдирдВ рд╕реНрд╡рд╛рдореНрдпрд░реНрдердкрд░рдорд╛рдГ рд╕рджрд╛┬ардИрджреГрд╢реИрдГ рдкреБрд░реБрд╖рд╢реНрд░реЗрд╖реНрдареИрд░реНрдпрдГ рд╕рдВрдзрд┐рдВ рдХреБрд░реБрддреЗ рдиреГрдкрдГ тБа
рддрд╕реНрдп рд╡рд┐рд╕реНрддреАрд░реНрдпрддреЗ рд░рд╛рдЬреНрдпрдВ рдЬреНрдпреЛрддреНрд╕реНрдирд╛ рдЧреНрд░рд╣рдкрддреЗрд░рд┐рд╡┬атБард╢рд╛рд╕реНрддреНрд░рдирд┐рддреНрдпрд╛ рдЬрд┐рддрдХреНрд░реЛрдзрд╛ рдмрд▓рд╡рдиреНрддреЛ рд░рдгреЗ рд╕рджрд╛

рдЬрдиреНрдорд╢реАрд▓рдЧреБрдгреЛрдкреЗрддрд╛рдГ рд╕рдВрдзреЗрдпрд╛рдГ рдкреБрд░реБрд╖реЛрддреНрддрдорд╛рдГ

The list of characteristics includes speaking the truth, communicating well, accomplished,┬аintelligent, under his own control, satisfied, not greedy, trustworthy, and controlling their┬аemotions.

Why is the “friendship” between Duryodhana and Karna┬аpopular today?

We live in a fast-paced society. We have lots of contacts but no connections. We try to justify┬аthis by treating all transactional relationships as friendships. We anchor this belief in the┬аfriendship of Duryodhana and Karna.┬аThis anchoring is convenient to explain as Karna has created a mind space in todayтАЩs┬аgeneration by virtue of his commitment towards Duryodhana. In addition, most people have┬аsympathy for him. We should not confuse his commitment for Duryodhana as friendship. It┬аwas a kind of one sided friendship. While Karna treated the relationship like friendship, but┬аfor Duryodhana, Karna was a trump card for Arjuna.┬аToday’s materialistic world has a vastly different meaning of friendship, and it is often seen┬аas more being together under all weathers. However, if one is a friend in crime, the law┬аwould not spare someone just because he was a friend. The current thinking approach is┬аbased on the short-term joy that each provides.

Subramaniam P G
Subramaniam P G was a Mahabharata Upanayanam student. Graduate in Engineering from┬аIndian Institute of Technology (Banaras Hindu University), Varanasi. An expert in Business┬аProcess Management with experience in business processes relating to diverse Industry and┬аFunctions. Also a passionate trainer and mentor to a large number of professionals.

Disclaimer:┬аThis article belongs to the author in full, including opinions and insights. Amrita┬аUniversity is not responsible or liable for the information contained in this article, or its┬аimplications therein.

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